i love you, take care

so my parents left this morning at 5am to go to HK for 4 weeks.. gonna miss them. love them sooo much.. awesome :) and left me soo much microwave dinners. *sigh* i'm still their little boy, don't ever want me to use the stove cuz they're scared i'll burn the house down...

so for the next 4 weeks i'll be home alone most of the time, just probably studying and what not, eating what i can :P etc. etc. but it'll be good.. have the car daily. which is something I never had ever so that'll be awesome but i will miss my parents

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astronomical grace :

have you ever thought that there are times that God can't forgive you? i know i have and sometimes i still do, but the truth with that is that's impossible

louie yesterday at passion brought this to my attention, again, man God spoke last nite, (check out pics here)

psalm 103 - wow... such beautiful words from the psalmist... but here's what i want to focus on, i won't explain, just meditate and imagine these words...

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

- beautiful...

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passion TO

last nite was awesome, God is here today, in TO and ontario and Canada and he wants to do something with us.. he wants to use us...

to those who went - don't forget, God is awesome and he's big, don't ask, listen.

those who didn't - God is awesome and He's big, HUGE!! unfanthomably HUGE.. we are dust, insignificant, why not follow a God who is so much bigger then us and loves us beyond imagination., don't ask, listen.

God is going to do great things. Let's join him

extension!!! WHOO-HOO!!!

so a lot has happened since i last blogged... of course i dont' remember most of it but i'll try :)

here's the summary of my blog before i actually rite it :) this is to remind me of what to write about later.. HAHAHHA!!! such bad memory

1. microwave foods... soo much of it
2. new camera
3. late for church
4. first extension ever
5. lamp shade top - hahahahhaa.. can't get it out of my system
6. dinner with friends
...

so parents came home on friday morning i think before i went to fellowship with like 10 microwave chinese dinners (the big black containers) and like tonz of microwave dimsum... the funny thing is they told me that i have to treat this like a snack... like if i get hungry outside of the regular meals... so that's a lot to eat...

i got a new camera from my cousin... well it's an old camera that he's used before but he got a new one and realized that he can only sell it for like $40 on ebay (it's the same camera as willi) so i asked him for it and he was like... merry christmas :) so first gift.. nice... i would take a picture of it but that would be ironic... also spent another $80 buying more memory and a case...

woke up at 8am for church on sunday for prayer meeting but was extremely tired so i decided to go later.. however, didn't call richard to pick me up cuz i thought he was sleeping soooo... the next time i woke up was 10:15... and i was like... i'm late for church... this is the first time in like... i dont' remember the last time i was like... went to the piano and played and sang some praise songs but felt really guilty... did make it to church for the message, thanks dad, good message... wow

went to my bible course today and found out that the prof will not be here next week because of a conference, also same day that essay is due... sooo.. we managed to convince her to give an extension.. first time in university life to get extension... wow... now i know how you guys feel... she did say that there will be a trade off... her exact words "if i give you another week, it'll take me longer to mark...." - that was it!!!! wow

lampshade... - check sharon's blog....too funnies... "butt crack ugly"

had dinner with a bunch of highschool friends that i haven't seen for too long.. praise God they're doing well... pray that i'll keep in touch with them this time around...

think that's it.. God's been opening my eyes to a lot of things... grown a lot even though i mite still be childish inside i've learned a lot... bout stuff... i know it's vague but don't know any other way to explain it :)

God is GOOD!!!

so yesterday, dropped SOC101 :) YES!!! sorry all you sociology people... i just don't like it...

so now i have 4 courses this sem and 3 next sem.. but i had to pick one up for next sem.. thinking i can just do stats.. then realizing i didn't do PSY stats... so the STATs stats won't do me ne good if you know what i mean.. doens't fulfill req. so it'll be a waste.. so started trying to sign up for psy courses... of course.. they're all fill.. seriously.. all full

the only ones that weren't full were ones i couldn't take but i signed up newayz... decided to call alan for help :) what a brother... he started helping me search through courses to find openings that i can take.. and like 2 mins after.. he calls me and like.. he's more excited then i was.. told me to sign up for psy290 which is a physio psych which fits into 2 of my course req. to graduate from my program.. SWEET!! praise God.. it was full before but i guess someone dropped it rite there and then... GOD IS GOOD!! thx alan...

realized i'm too into plants because of botany.. *sigh* it's ok...

everyone's like talking about summer plans already... it's crazy.. so here are mine.. (mind you softball isn't on the top)

- enjoyed going to Calgary so much by myself that i'll save up to go somewhere this year.. where??
1. eastcoast - wanna have them lobster and see the sea
2. westcoast - was talking about it... miss vancouver areaish.. nice place..
3. san fran - visit my cousins (second cousins) and maybe LA to visit my other cousin working as archetecture
4. french bursary - was thinking about it.. but was going to go with friend but i think she's busy this summer with other stuff so many in a few years... i have til what?? 25 years old or something??
5. road trip to WHITE WATER RAFTING!! (i think this is ranked higher)

- titus tomorrow but only gonna be there for small group meeting and at the end to loiter, got a friend's bday to go to.. highschool friends.. miss them tonz :)

- that's it for now... rents leaving in 2 weeks... i'll be lonely :( but i'll be ok. thx to all that offered me food... u know the way to get to my heart.. love you all

broken - in a good way...

well, just spent an hour reading everyone else's blog and i realized that mine is a lot like others that i've read... here goes

so this weekend has been crazy... weekend mainly sunday and monday... broken 3.5 times... literally... broken down into smallest pieces ever

start off with sunday...

alfred's msg.. wow.. and even before that worship at ETCBC... i was doing PPT for the service and as we were singing... i looked around the sanctuary and saw my family... mainly TITUS but others as well... i asked God what he wanted.. where he wants me and what to do... TITUS was it... to take care of them and to be a brother to them... to listen to love to cherish to comfort to complain to, to open up to and all other things that come with it... i love you guys and i thank you all for loving me back... broken...

alfred's msg... not just just learn but to do something... to have one pure and holy passion... to stop focusing sometimes on saying to myself i'm not ready yet but to actually do something about it... knowing that I can't do it on my own but to have faith that God can do it... broken....

talked with a close friend of mine sunday nite... realized that the hardest thing to do sometimes is to listen to God.. there are so many ways out... easier ways that dont' really rely on God as much as the hard way... knowing that I can't do the hard way without God... broken to choose a path that is probably better... giving up and letting go of something that i've been holding on to but maybe God doesn't want me to for now... tough to swallow... broken....

spoke with my mom monday morning... i was so mentally out of it i exploded infront of her but being my mom, she came to me and comforted me.. told me to let it all out.. and stop holding it in... i didn't know why all these things were going on through my life from school to relationships to personal struggles.... i felt like i cant' do it all... i even said to my mom that i just want to drop it all.. including my own spiritual growth.. but she told me that that's satan talking and the better thing to do was to drop the things that are stopping my spiritual growth... i also cried a lot during these 3 broken periods... and my mom said something interesting about what Jesus says about tears... i'll have to find the verse to share about that...broken...

just now at school, i checked my e-mail and got a rare e-mail from my dad. i guess my mom spoke with my dad and he wrote an e-mail that i will never forget... i will cherish.. touched my heart... felt like a letter from my heavenly father as well... i think it was a combination... wow... broken...

what i got out of all this??
- i can't do things on my own, only from the help of God i can
- bad things happen so one day i may be able to share and relate to those that these things have happened to before... to understand and to cry with.. that's what we're called to do right? mourn with those who mourn... (it's a long concept.. ask me personally if u want me to go deeper)
- God has my future all mapped out and the choices I make now that are the toughest i bring back to God... knowing that everything will be ok
- my family (biologically, spiritually) they love me.. thx ET, especially TITUS... you guys mean the world to me...
- anonymous - in God's time, by God's will, in God's eyes... longer the wait, sweeter the wine

broken... it's a good thing... time to let God mend and make me stronger...

one of those days...

i had an awesome day btu i'll post about it tomorrow

dont' really feeling saying nething rite nwo but you know how sometimes you have one of those days where everything is like pretty good... almost perfect.. conquer some fears and confront some situations... and you feel good

then at the end you are required to make a decision about something and you end up choosing the wrong one that just bugs you the rest of the day.. yeah.. that's how i'm feeling rite now...

i had a good day though but not in the mood to talk bout it

siblings are blessings...

don't have any biologically related brothers or sisters, so i'm an only spoiled child but really talkign about spiritual sibligns... brothers and sisters in Christ..

had an awesome talk with a friend wednesday nite and thursday nite... thx.. you know who you are and friday.. TITUS was AWESOME!!! led with the one and only jubez which did an awesome job through Christ, really brought back meaning to a lot of songs and praises that God has given us.. to really focus on what it all meant... had a good chat with a brother that nite too about just things..

wanted to speak to a friend but didn't get a chance to :( that was the only down part of friday nite

great bible study with tons of discussion... so good

great talks and memories with some friends tonite.. so much fun.. thx guys you all ROCK!!!!

can't wait for church tomorrow morning... should be GREAT!!! to see my brothers and sisters again... what blessings...

side note : going to drop sociology.... i think ti's a legit reason...spoken to people and got feedback so i think it's ok, also rents leaving soon to HK for like 4 weeks.. i need company.. :) and food.. :)

God is good... he's awesome.. thx to all my bros and sis' out there... true blessings..

2.5833333333333...

from the movies to the tv shows to the rubber ducks to the juicebox to the jitz to the darts to the pacman to the cooking to the baking to the fudging to the frying to the walks to the parks to the carnivals to the stuffed animals to the powerpoints to the fireworks to the beach to the music to the songs to the piano to the wisdom teeth to the good health to the poor health to the bus rides to the naps to the laughs to the smiles to the tears to the good times to the bad times to the prayers to the books to the late nights to the good mornings to the shows to the chill times to the talks i'll never forget... thanks :)

it's in you to give...

wow.. 2 really great things happened today...

first off... went to Albert's for weekly wednesday meet up and alan was there as well.. and what did we do?? not pr0n :) went through a few levels in the beginning.. mainly on level 7 and 8... but it was sooo much fun.. my head gets a better workout doing not pr0n then studying.. but i did refrain from continuing to solve level 9 at home when i got home :) cuz i was watching bball...

second thing... got stabbed in the arm today at med sci... lost a lot of blood.. starting feeling wooooozy and fainty, and nauseated... fortunately.. the nurse came and asked if i was ok and stopped my blood donation cuz it was basically done anywayz.. but i felt like those injured guys from ER

they told me it was normal to feel fainty and stuff especially it was the first time but man... me feeling fainty gave them a lot of attention and gave me even more.. the nurse was like "i need some help over here" and asked me if i was feeling ok like a million times, trying to keep me awake or something so i won't faint or something... i was ok.. the faintiness was only for a few minutes... so if you guys are craving for attention... that's how you get it done

newayz... giving blood.. good experience eventhough there was the dizziness and stuff but really made me think... i saw the needle go into my vein which i was planning to anyways to see how it looked like..man i hurts but it was all good... what did it make me think of??

well i gave like one bag of my blood today and i already felt as if i was going to pass out to maybe save someone's life... but reminds me of Jesus and him dying on the cross

he gave a lot of blood, all of his blood and like no one was there to stop it.. he gave it all for us... me, you, the guy/girl next door, EVERYONE!!! can you imaging how he was feeling on the cross?? wow.. guys.. go donate blood and feel how crazy it is to lose a lot of blood... man.. Jesus had a rough.. for us...

and the thing is, he didn't do it just once, everytime I (/we) sin, we put him back up there on that cross... wow... like we don't even deserve it... Praise God for grace and mercy. Thanks.

it's funny...

wow.. what a day.. first off... first time i've read every person's blog that i currenlty have in a day.. and secondly... blogging 2 days in a row.. gotta be some kinda record for me

newayz... so as most know i'm studying sciences... and low and behold... those are the course i'm not doing well in... got to my "Hebrew Bible" course this morning and got my midterm back... let me tell ya, i was freaked cuz it was essay but God is GOOD!!! i did well.. way better then my science stuff...

man... like it's just funny how God just gives you something to boost up your confidence....

newayz... watched "Kingdom of Heaven" tonite with my dad after tutoring... good movie... like the "speeches" in it were pretty inspiring.. have to admit there were a lot i didn't understnad but i think it's a movie that's buyable.

you know what ticks me off?? not much really... that's why my blogs are soo boring sometimes... peopel tell me to write more about what i'm passionate about and honestly... currently... still trying to find that passion...

i've always been the kind of person who does "everything" as in a bit of everything.. never super passionate in one thing...

for example... let's say music... sure i can play a few instruments but not really passionate in any of them.. i jsut do them cuz... i don't know...

but what i am finding mroe interesting and hoping it to be passionate is to read people's blogs... extremely interesting lives peopel have... i need to care about peopel more... be a people carer :) and not be half-arsed in it but truly care...

of course i gotta work on speaking and what not... cuz i'm nto good at that.. but i'll always listen.. and treat you to a drink.. maybe :) hahahahaha... God has blessed me abundantly...

it's funny... i read other blogs and some are soo meaningful... is it just that i dont' sit here long enough to write something meaningful or do i not have anythign meaningful to say??

does that make me meaningless??

newayz... here's what i got out of my day... sit back, and enjoy life... God has called me to be someone that I honestly have no clue about... to do things that I don't think i can... to be someone that i didn't hink i was...

something from the movie that relates.. and expanded a bit further

"can someone have the strength and ability of a knight just by being called a knight?" --- "yes..."

don't know if that's true in all senses... "can someone do medicine by just calling them a doctor?" - dont' think so

"can we be loved by a God, just by Him calling us His children?"... yes

how great is that?? we are loved... you are loved.. i am loved... by a king... think about that...