broken - in a good way...
well, just spent an hour reading everyone else's blog and i realized that mine is a lot like others that i've read... here goes
so this weekend has been crazy... weekend mainly sunday and monday... broken 3.5 times... literally... broken down into smallest pieces ever
start off with sunday...
alfred's msg.. wow.. and even before that worship at ETCBC... i was doing PPT for the service and as we were singing... i looked around the sanctuary and saw my family... mainly TITUS but others as well... i asked God what he wanted.. where he wants me and what to do... TITUS was it... to take care of them and to be a brother to them... to listen to love to cherish to comfort to complain to, to open up to and all other things that come with it... i love you guys and i thank you all for loving me back... broken...
alfred's msg... not just just learn but to do something... to have one pure and holy passion... to stop focusing sometimes on saying to myself i'm not ready yet but to actually do something about it... knowing that I can't do it on my own but to have faith that God can do it... broken....
talked with a close friend of mine sunday nite... realized that the hardest thing to do sometimes is to listen to God.. there are so many ways out... easier ways that dont' really rely on God as much as the hard way... knowing that I can't do the hard way without God... broken to choose a path that is probably better... giving up and letting go of something that i've been holding on to but maybe God doesn't want me to for now... tough to swallow... broken....
spoke with my mom monday morning... i was so mentally out of it i exploded infront of her but being my mom, she came to me and comforted me.. told me to let it all out.. and stop holding it in... i didn't know why all these things were going on through my life from school to relationships to personal struggles.... i felt like i cant' do it all... i even said to my mom that i just want to drop it all.. including my own spiritual growth.. but she told me that that's satan talking and the better thing to do was to drop the things that are stopping my spiritual growth... i also cried a lot during these 3 broken periods... and my mom said something interesting about what Jesus says about tears... i'll have to find the verse to share about that...broken...
just now at school, i checked my e-mail and got a rare e-mail from my dad. i guess my mom spoke with my dad and he wrote an e-mail that i will never forget... i will cherish.. touched my heart... felt like a letter from my heavenly father as well... i think it was a combination... wow... broken...
what i got out of all this??
- i can't do things on my own, only from the help of God i can
- bad things happen so one day i may be able to share and relate to those that these things have happened to before... to understand and to cry with.. that's what we're called to do right? mourn with those who mourn... (it's a long concept.. ask me personally if u want me to go deeper)
- God has my future all mapped out and the choices I make now that are the toughest i bring back to God... knowing that everything will be ok
- my family (biologically, spiritually) they love me.. thx ET, especially TITUS... you guys mean the world to me...
- anonymous - in God's time, by God's will, in God's eyes... longer the wait, sweeter the wine
broken... it's a good thing... time to let God mend and make me stronger...
so this weekend has been crazy... weekend mainly sunday and monday... broken 3.5 times... literally... broken down into smallest pieces ever
start off with sunday...
alfred's msg.. wow.. and even before that worship at ETCBC... i was doing PPT for the service and as we were singing... i looked around the sanctuary and saw my family... mainly TITUS but others as well... i asked God what he wanted.. where he wants me and what to do... TITUS was it... to take care of them and to be a brother to them... to listen to love to cherish to comfort to complain to, to open up to and all other things that come with it... i love you guys and i thank you all for loving me back... broken...
alfred's msg... not just just learn but to do something... to have one pure and holy passion... to stop focusing sometimes on saying to myself i'm not ready yet but to actually do something about it... knowing that I can't do it on my own but to have faith that God can do it... broken....
talked with a close friend of mine sunday nite... realized that the hardest thing to do sometimes is to listen to God.. there are so many ways out... easier ways that dont' really rely on God as much as the hard way... knowing that I can't do the hard way without God... broken to choose a path that is probably better... giving up and letting go of something that i've been holding on to but maybe God doesn't want me to for now... tough to swallow... broken....
spoke with my mom monday morning... i was so mentally out of it i exploded infront of her but being my mom, she came to me and comforted me.. told me to let it all out.. and stop holding it in... i didn't know why all these things were going on through my life from school to relationships to personal struggles.... i felt like i cant' do it all... i even said to my mom that i just want to drop it all.. including my own spiritual growth.. but she told me that that's satan talking and the better thing to do was to drop the things that are stopping my spiritual growth... i also cried a lot during these 3 broken periods... and my mom said something interesting about what Jesus says about tears... i'll have to find the verse to share about that...broken...
just now at school, i checked my e-mail and got a rare e-mail from my dad. i guess my mom spoke with my dad and he wrote an e-mail that i will never forget... i will cherish.. touched my heart... felt like a letter from my heavenly father as well... i think it was a combination... wow... broken...
what i got out of all this??
- i can't do things on my own, only from the help of God i can
- bad things happen so one day i may be able to share and relate to those that these things have happened to before... to understand and to cry with.. that's what we're called to do right? mourn with those who mourn... (it's a long concept.. ask me personally if u want me to go deeper)
- God has my future all mapped out and the choices I make now that are the toughest i bring back to God... knowing that everything will be ok
- my family (biologically, spiritually) they love me.. thx ET, especially TITUS... you guys mean the world to me...
- anonymous - in God's time, by God's will, in God's eyes... longer the wait, sweeter the wine
broken... it's a good thing... time to let God mend and make me stronger...
posted by sam.wong at
2:33 PM
6 Comments:
Sam, my respect for you grows by leaps whenever I read ur blog.
I think the most daunting thing in life is realizing that at any point you can give up. And the most encouraging thing is realizing why you shouldn't give up.
By
Daniel, at 2:57 PM
God chooses the most interesting ways to talk to us, doesn't He.
Hardships may come along. But never forget that you're never alone. You'll never be alone.
By
Anonymous, at 6:27 PM
sam... i hear you. i'm glad you didn't give up because giving up has no lasting benefits.
don't worry, if you allow me to lean on you while tough times roll, you can lean on me and together we can form a tent. that's right, we'll form a sturdy tent of Godly love. ^_^
and yes, well said those who posted comments.
-Jubez.
By
Jubez, at 9:23 PM
WAIT A MINUTE
YOUR BLOG LAYOUT IS THE SAME AS MINE!!! oh, i see how it is...
O_O
By
Jubez, at 9:25 PM
everybody's blogs are the same? must be the gloomy weather...
God always delights in a broken heart. it's a sign of readiness for growth.. =) miss you lots!
By
rn, at 6:26 PM
Wow just reading how ur dad sent you an email is awesome.. if my dad was to ever send me an email to comfort me that would be the day.. the day!!
By
Darren, at 1:18 AM
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