the first time...

so as i was walking to school this morning, which was around 10 mins ago from the station, i was thinking... that's rite.. thinking...

you know how some people say that the first time you ever do something you'll remember it the best? well i was thinking my first time for everything, first day of school, of high school, of university, of TC, of other things and seriously, none of them really stand out in my life as super important, then as i was thinking and listening to Hillsong's, i thought about celebration... i thought about BCOQ and how amazing the jr highs were and how freely they worshipped when they realized that how they worship only matters to God, and how God only worries about the heart...

then i started thinking about ETCBC, how our worship is on sunday mornings, we're very reflective group but less celebration, and i question why? it's good to relfect but why not celebrate freely as the jr. highs did? as King David did back in the old days?

as i continued to think, i remembered when was the day i celebrated God's love the most, and that was the day i committed my life to God fully, a few years back. I remembered when I layed down everything before him and "died". The first time...

wow, chills ran down my back, almost teared, and the joy of that first time just blew me away...

how amazing that would be if everyday of worship we remember as if it was our first time..

what i mean is that we (including myself) have gotten use to worship. in a sense that it's not what it use to be and we've gotten so use to the standing and singing that we forget why we worship... what is worship?

   Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.
--- romans 12

our act of worship is daily, and our act of worship is to offer our bodies as LIVING SACRIFICES.. to experience that first time when we did offer our lives... the first time...

we are STILL LIVING... we are not dead... we are dead to this world, but living in Christ.. and our daily worship should still be a living sacrifice...

at church, at school, at work, any time of the day...our life should reflect our worship to God,

i'm not saying that we shouldn't reflect and listen, but we need to celebrate at the same time that we are living, that every single step we take should be the though of sacrifice...

and to once again think of the first day we truly learned to sacrifice, and look towards the ONE that did the ultimate sacrifice... and to not just dwell on that but realize that through His sacrifice, we can now LIVE... celebrate...

tired...

wow, after a week of reading week, i realized that i didn't do too much at home... barely did any reading

did learn a lot though so I thank God for that. Through friday bible study and sunday message the linkage between having a heart to do things, and are the things i'm doing right.

Having the right heart, that's what God is looking for in me. It doesn't matter to Him what I do and how much of it I do but it does matter to Him how my heart is. Is it real and sincere? am I connected with him? pondering over these questions i still don't have an answer but i'm praying that as i think more this week i really draw closer to him.

about obedience, wow, obedience to just understand the consequences of disobedience. Disobedience means slowing down what God wants in our lives. What he's trying to build through us will be hindered through our disobedience and the relationship will also be hurt between God and I. I think htat's why I've been so far lately from God, not obeying... i hear but not obeying and it sucks. But luckily, through God's mercy and grace i've been given another chance and praying that I will take hold of this chance :)

this week will be long, and a lot of studying which is important for me to do... but really need to know why i'm doign all this... 2 exams this week... that's bout it...

started reading the book of hosea, pretty crazy stuff... haven't learned too much yet.. but I know God will show me something through the prophets

Thank you Lord for your forgiveness.

oh my OAT...

for those who dont' know what OAT is.. becuase it's not as "famous" or "infamous" as MCAT or LSAT or watehver..

OAT is Optometry Admission Test.

the OAT is jsut one step i need to take to get into school of optometry, i need to do well in this test, plus good avg at school and then amazing interview... well.. at school so far... avg... ok.. not oto goood.. not bad...

interview will be in the future so that'll take awhile... so not woried bout t hat too much yet

PRAISE GOD!!! helped me accomplish the OAT... from 8am-2pm exam.. WOW with 15min break inbetween.. i have no clue how i got through it without God.. THANK YOU!!!!

had to work so fast and so hard.. cuz so many calculation problems with no calculator is hard...

well.. PRAISE GOD it's done.. he is good.. in His hands now... :) thank you all who were praying for me.. u guzy rock...

PEACE OUT FOR NOW!!!! that's all for OAT>. nto much to talk about :) it was a test... and God helped me through it...

- friday jan 21 - (part 2)

part 2.. here we go...

alrite... so after seeing the buildlign fo the stage.. we continued to practice our songs and what not.. to work out harmonies and everythign and it was going well... still kinda stressed.. but was told htat i have nothing to stress about...

it's true though.. i was so stressed that i can't do it that i forgot i'm nto the one doing it... God is... that calmed me down alot...

newayz... we began setting up the stage and what nto after lunch, lunch was pretty good but we went in late and kinda ran out of food so wasn't too full.. but they had like so much "junk" food which us vocalists werent' allowed to eat so that sucked...

we started to get really excited as the evening approached and with tonz of prayer it came... wow... there were 600+ jr.highs in a gym.. and man were they pumped up.. crazy... they were the like the energizer bunny, and never ran out of that energy and we were excited because hey, maybe they'll be into worship...

so the MCee's did their thing and pumped up the crowd, giving out free stuff and making hte teams cheer and what not and when it was our turn to lead worship, man.. a completely whoel diff. reaction... i dont' knwo if it was cuz they were expecting like a rock band or even jsut non-chinese peopel but the reaction was almost zero.

oh, before i continue.. rite before we began the evening session, the coordinator, darren, spoke and prayed for us while we were ina room upstairs praying... he called us the "rotten egg plants" just cuz... dont' knwo why but just cuz... and we were at the same time asked to come up wiht a name... now that was weird... well we coudltn' think of anything else so we went wiht "rotten egg plants" but took the first letters of it and called ourselves "REP"

tim tang told us that when we come up wiht a name, it shoudl be one that has meaning to us and that we can carry it on outside of BCOQ and with REP, it reminds us that when we're up on stage and off stage.. we are REPresenting our GOD and that's what we're told to do :) so we were known as "rotten egg plants"

newayz... back to the evening... the reaction was almost zero.. it was hard to swallow.. like i was just lookign at them in the crowd and they just werent' interested... after the evning, we spoke to the coordinators and leaders trying to figure out why they werent interested... we then realized that our songs were too knew and that it's hard for them to learn songs that quickly... soooo.. God, on the spot, challenged us ot change everythign that we've pracitced... man... wow....

so that nite we switched everything... well... at least the next set, put in songs that were a bit older that they would know and we went ot sleep that nite... havinga set for the next mroning... so we though......

(i'm in clas rite now so hopefully 2nite i can write down the rest of our experiences as REP)

few things...

yes i know i haven't blogged in almost a week.. but there's a reason...

well... this is going to be short too cuz i'm heading out soon... um... first BCOQ stuff will be up at the end of this weekend :)

tomorrow is my big OAT (optometry admission test). 8 am in the morning... mad prayerz needed.. heading up to the loo now, so yup.. will blog when done test... PEACE!